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Super intense True Blood episode with some mad angst, mad fighting, and mad sex (all kinds, pick your poison – vamp/vamp, boy/boy, boy/girl, vamp/girl). Lots of boy-boy action again in this episode between Jesus and Lafayette, and also between Eric and Talbot. Booyah. Not to mention Eric’s man-tease after Talbot tells him imperiously “I’m bored. Take your clothes off.” Classic. I did think that their kiss was very awkward, not like Lafayette and Jesus, but then again they are two primal vampire males versus the two human nice boys, right?

Eric’s game to somehow exact vengeance on Russell is starting to get ramped up, especially when he pledges his allegiance that he has been searching for him for one thousand years, for “a true leader, one strong enough to unite us all.” He definitely knows how to play Russell, and seems to have him in the palm of his hand. Still, I don’t know if I like him in this submissive role (I want the Eric from last season), but I am sure it’s all a means to an end. “I will show you just how deep my loyalty runs…” To us, the viewers, his underlying threat to Russell is unmistakable. I cannot wait for when he takes Russell down.

No surprise that Tara is having crazy sex dreams about Franklin, after all she drank his blood. She is also definitely torn about Sookie’s feelings for Bill which she admits to still having, but I think a lot of that is a combination of how Bill treated her when she first arrived at Russell’s place and of course her terror of Franklin. She’s seen what a truly horrific vampire is capable of, no wonder she’s ticked off. Speaking of, I guess I was wrong that Franklin is dead since Talbot mentioned that he had to scrub his brains out of the linen. Unless…vampire brains can regenerate? Hmmm.

Glad that Jesus is back in the picture with Lafayette. Love how he gets Jean to hand over the knife…little bit of sweet mixed in with a whole lot of crazy in this episode, which was a nice change. The twist with Lafayette having a lot of power is also cool although I’m not sure how that will play out with all the other vamps, weres, shifters, light-bearers, and other paranorms in the True Blood world.

Crystal and Jason also have some sex of their own too, but we still have yet to see what she and her family are. I am guessing from the man eating the raw deer and the weird little hiss that maybe they’re some kind of were-coyotes or other wild-cat creatures. Love when Jason goes all Rambo and threatens Crystal’s father to stay away from her, “me and the whole sheriff’s department are going to come after you, and your hillbilly freak show! You feel me?” Go Jason! He always jumps then thinks, but it’s what makes him Jason. I really hope they make him a cop and validate him just a little bit.

Things are also heating up with Sookie – I really need to know what she is, and what her cousin Hadley revealed to Sophie-Anne and Eric. It has to be big otherwise why would Eric risk sending Hadley to warn Sookie? Speaking of Eric, anyone else notice that he always seems to be bleeding from the ears and/or nose? What is that about? Anyway, I knew that he was going to take Talbot out, and of course, sex is when they’re the most vulnerable considering that Talbot is older (and stronger) than Eric. Poor Talbot, he really does get the, um, short end of the stick. I mean stake.

“Oh poor Talbot, are your diamond slippers chafing.”

So Eric soothes the ruffled feathers of Talbot while Russell goes to track Sookie. When Talbot realizes that Eric is going to kill him, the look on his face was a classic B-movie horror still.  I think I actually felt sorry for Talbot, he had some good one-liners especially when he told Russell he was going to babysit his wife and then calls her a putana in the same breath. Oh Talbot, we shall miss you and your wifely antics!

The Sookie/Debbie showdown was cool, glad to see there was no cliched hair pulling, just some good old fashion punching, head-smashing, and face-slashing. Nice! I actually liked the fact that she didn’t turn into a wolf. Must have been a power thing to take Sookie down while in human form.

Love how Bill provokes Russell to save Jessica, “are you a coward, or are you just lazy?” It made him seem so badass even though he knows that he was going to get his butt kicked because Russell is 3000 years old. Of course, Bill ends up being saved inadvertently by Eric as Russell feels it acutely when Talbot is killed so he disappears.

I was also really hoping for some Hoyt heroics, like maybe he would save Jessica from the werewolf. It was almost too predictable to see her killing the werewolf – it’s not like she’s weak, she’s always been strong so I expected it. I just didn’t get what was the sense of having Hoyt drive by at that moment if he didn’t have anything to do with the moment.

And now for the grand finale of this episode (no pun intended). The sex scene at the end between Bill and Sookie might have just eclipsed the sex-scene between them after he climbed out of the dirt grave in a previous episode. That was some of the most angry, emotional, intense make-up sex ever seen on True Blood! But you know it was coming…those two can’t stay apart for long, even with Alcide getting his flirt on. Umm….Alcide…

Looking forward to what happens when Russell gets back to his dead love, and how Eric handles the situation! Only 3 more episodes left! True Blood airs on HBO on Sundays at 9pmEST.

Well, well, well. Lorena has finally bitten the big one (no pun intended) and is no more than a pile of vampire sludge. Yep that’s what’s left of her in the photo falling on top of Bill (Debbie’s…er…”vampire burrito”).

As Sookie said, that is what happens when vampires die. Um, so then that of course just goes to say that Franklin is definitely not dead. He may wake up with a slight headache but he is alive which means that Miss Tara is in a whole heap of trouble. What’s that line again? Hell hath no fury like a vampire bludgeoned in the head while it’s sleeping? Bring on the freak!

But back to Bill and Sookie. So surprise, surprise, Bill doesn’t burn in the sun after drinking…um…stealing a whole heap of Sookie’s blood almost killing her in the process. That was  almost a given I think with all the light coming out of her before, so it was just short of an OMG moment for me. If you looked carefully, you’d have seen that there was still some mild evaporation, but he definitely wasn’t getting his crispy on. Does that mean it’s temporary? Or is it permanent? Is Bill something else now? Something in the Wesley Snipes Blade category perchance? And what about Sookie?

Speaking of, this brings me to the next scene when Sookie is in the hospital and has the dream with all the dancing, naked people drinking from the fountain of light. That felt a little Maryann-ish to me (crazy maenad from last season).  Claudine even looked like Maryann. And honestly, all that dancing was just weird. Still, obviously there’s a big revelation coming. Something to do with the light and the dark is my guess, and of course Sookie’s true nature. Fairy? Water nymph? Angel? Moonchild? Mermaid? I did like the twist that she had no blood type, that was cool.

So what does Claudine mean by “Do not fear the water. It wasn’t the water that killed them?” when Sookie hears her thoughts? Is she talking about Sookie’s parents? And when Bill shows up and they all run away from the “dark,” obviously from Bill, that was a little strange. Claudine: “He will steal your light…do not let him take it from you.” Thought it was a little too much when Sookie wakes up screaming when she sees Bill. I know he almost killed her but come on, she’s seen and been through a lot worse. Plus she supposedly loves him, and she knows what he is. Again, come on.

Moving on. I love me some Pam! She is so sassy! I was dying laughing when she was mouthing off to the Magister even though she was lying there wrapped in silver chains when he brings her the Tiffany’s earrings.

Pam: How’d you know I was a Tiffany’s girl?

Magister: Most women are, and those who aren’t just think they’re not [...] They’re sterling silver.

Pam: Excellent, they’ll match my chains.

Russell actually got some major backbone in this episode, now that he has gone completely off the reservation.

“I no longer recognize The Authority. There’s a new [bleep] authority in town!”

Classic. Once more, the Magister’s severed exploding head was just tad too much but I guess it’s True Blood style. Can’t wait to see what Eric’s going to do to Russell later on vengeance-wise, and how he’s going to do it, especially since Russell is so old and powerful. Would be neat if there really was an “Authority” that will come into play later on. TBD.

Now for the other sub-plots. The Sam thing is still getting on my nerves – I mean his parent’s hold on Tommy just seems too ordinary within all the paranormal extravaganza that is True Blood. So they need him for dog-fighting. Big deal. I don’t get it, he’s still a human fighting as a dog for money. Boring. Jason and Crystal and the meth-head cousin? Boring. Summer wanting Hoyt to taste her biscuits? Ok, not so bad.

Overall, things are heading in the right direction but tonight’s episode left me with mixed feelings. I felt confused almost as if too much happened too fast and not enough happened at the same time. It wasn’t that it was lacking in any action, it just felt not as pulled together as it usually is. It was more like a giant avalanche of crazy plot-lines. As a side note, I did love the Post Mortem after the episode with the video montage of Lorena and Bill’s life. That was outstanding!

Only five episodes left! True Blood airs on HBO at 9pm on Sundays.

Holy crow, True Blood! Blood, guts, gore, and more. Way to wake Tara up! I think I am now a little afraid of her badassness – biting Franklin in the neck and then bludgeoning his skull to flatness with a grisly-looking spiky hammer! Outstanding! Although I do have to say that I don’t think Franklin is dead because all I was thinking was “cut his head off, Tara, cut it off!” Between that, burning, and staking, it’s really the only real ways to kill one of those sneaky suckers. Love how she takes charge to rescue Sookie and then they tandem kick the bejeezus out of the guard. That was just spectacular. I think I almost liked Tara in that moment. Almost.

Eric didn’t really impress me much in this episode but I guess he’s tortured by other things like almost-forgotten family vengeance.  I did enjoy him putting the beat-down on Sophie-Anne.

Eric: “I’m older and stronger than you…I only submitted to you in the past because of respect…I will rip your head of and throw it in the pool, and I will have fun doing it!”

Hiss hiss, snarl snarl.

But that was just a snippet of the old Eric. I know he’s only being a sycophant just to get close to Russell but it’s bordering on skeevy. Definitely a lot of mano-y-mano action in this episode between Eric, Russell and Talbot (little jealous man-wife), and of course, Lafayette and Jesus (hot orderly boy if you’ve forgotten). Speaking of those two, I honestly have to say that that was the best boy-boy kiss I have ever seen on TV. I was totally cheering for Lafayette! Well, until of course he totally ruins it all when Jesus finds out that he’s a drug dealer. Silly Lafayette.

The other sub-plots are moving along but aren’t interesting enough for me to think about with any huge amount of brain space. Sam and family engaged in a shady dog-fighting ring. Blah. Jessica and her random eating habits. Blah. Jason and Crystal’s on-the-sly outdoor extravaganza. Blah. Still think she’s a werewolf by the way.

Can’t wait for next week now that Lorena finally has Sookie in her clutches! Definitely need to see some more of that supernatural killing force from her! And of course more of Alcide seeing that we only got a tiny little teaser of a view….although he was naked after morphing from wolf form so not complaining too hard.

Previews for next week look awesome! True Blood airs on HBO at 9pm on Sundays. Get yours!!

Finally! True Blood is hitting a stride!

Tara gets out of stupid mode and is actually funny in this episode. Loved her OMG faces when she’s talking to the obviously psychotic Franklin. He is hilarious when he does the “how-fast-can-I-text” thing. What a tool. Hopefully Tara is wily enough to wrap him around her little finger before she becomes the meal du jour slash vampire bride.

Nice twist with Eric showing up (of course Talbot finds him hot!) Thought the back-story when he sees the crown in the king’s collection with him and his father was also neat, which reveals that Eric is in fact a Viking prince. Classic. Just adds in the element of “vengeance” against the house of cards that the old Mississippi King Vamp Russell is building.

Now for the rest of the True Blood sub-plots… Not really sure where the whole Sam and family thing is going, especially with his father’s rage against his little brother. I’m sure there’s a reason but it’s just boring – alright already, tell us what it is. Also interested to see who this mystery girl is that Jason keeps seeing. $50 says that she is a wolf too (or some other kind of super freak). Very happy that Lafayette is going to hook up with the cute orderly who takes care of his mother! Being Eric’s little cabana boy and dealing with his crazy cousin Tara all day long, the poor boy needs some nice in his life!

Absolutely loved the end of this episode where Bill goes completely nuts against Cooter and his vampire guard. And then the piece with Sookie using the strange power that first came to light against the maenad from last season was very cool. Mr. Vamp King definitely likes that considering he probably wants to use Sookie for his own ends. That little clap thing he did was extremely creepy.

Can’t wait for next week’s episode!

So the last episode of True Blood entitled Crimes was pretty decent. LOVED the dream that Eric had about Sookie, but loved even more the look that was on his face when he woke up. Classic. Normally it’s about humans dreaming about vampires not the other way around! He was completely shaken!

Definitely got my fill of Alcide as he steps in to help Sookie find the man/werewolf who kidnapped Bill. On that note, funny to notice that the same hot/cold metaphor comes up – cold for vampires, hot for werewolves. Obviously it’s not a new thing.

Sookie: Oh my god, you’re so warm.

Alcide: It’s a were thing, we run hot.

This just brings me to my rant of the day which of course is that everything to do with vampires and werewolves has been done. Even in this episode, they talk about Sookie being a telepath and not being able to hear Bill, which is the same thing between another vamp popular couple, Bella and Edward. He can’t hear her thoughts. There’s rarely anything new, well except of course for sparkling fairy-dust vampires. But I digress.

The best part (and saddest) about this episode was Bill being so cold to poor Sookie – “You are no longer of concern to me,” and telling her that he’d just been with Lorena. Ouch. That was stone cold. Despite his iciness to Sookie, Bill has definitely gotten his sexy back – how hot does he look when he gets angry and smashes Lorena in the face? Fantastic! I am liking the new Bill…

Apart from the whole plot movement of the Mississippi king vamping out his blood to the werewolves (which hopefully is going to come back in a huge way because you have to imagine that if dealing V to humans is so bad, giving it to the werewolves is even worse), the episode was very entertaining. Tara is still as dumb as ever but maybe one of these days she will surprise me, and Franklin is just plain psycho. The sub-plot of Sam and his family is a little boring but I’m sure they have a purpose. Love that Sam hired Jessica to do some waitressing (and of course Arlene’s reaction – “I’m the only redhead!”) And of course the magistrar vampire dude laying the law down on Eric by punishing Pam is pretty cool.

Looking forward to next week, now that Eric has a timeline to find Bill.

These last two episodes of True Blood felt more like plot movers than anything especially with the Eric/Godric flashbacks and the Bill/Lorena flashbacks, although there were a couple exciting moments in both episodes.

I forgot to mention Sam’s search for his family in my last post but that’s because it just wasn’t as interesting as anything else. It’s pretty obvious that they are going to cause trouble for him so it’s just watch and wait at this point. Also Jessica’s three episode affair with her dead trucker is very grating. It’s like, come on already. We get it. He’s dead and rotting, and she’s grossed out. Move on. However I do like Pam’s role in Jessica’s development. Love her dry sarcasm and unwilling “motherly” role, which is the antithesis of what she is.

So first of all, what is with the vampire royalty turning up everywhere? There’s a king and queen of every state? Plus a sheriff? That’s a lot of law for a lot of underworld lawlessness going on! Like kidnapping poor Bill. Not sure I like the king of Mississippi and his annoying consort, Talbot. The jury’s also out on the new slimy looking vampire who seduces Tara (she’s so dumb!) to get closer to Sookie.

But I do like the fact that Arlene is pregnant with Terry’s kid – because I KNOW that something good is coming out of that one. I mean fast-growing fetus? Oh yes, Mr. Terry is no ordinary human is my guess. I would even venture to say that he’s a werewolf. Speaking of werewolves, LOVE that Joe Manganiello (Owen on One Tree Hill) is playing Alcide. Hot!

Definitely looking forward to this Sunday’s episode if only to see more of him!

The last thing I need to mention is the sex scene between Bill and Lorena. Now that was awkward to even watch. Ouch. Guess he really, really hates her. From the previews of the next episode, looks like Bill only succeeds in pushing Sookie closer to Eric. Flame on peeps! Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned by her vampire lover!